Nord and Bert is not your typical Infocom product. The focus is on verbal skills -- figuring out puns, remembering old sayings, and performing other bits of word play. There are some puzzles, though. A few are quite tricky and test your ability to think flexibly. The game is divided up into eight stories, all of them entertaining and clever.

Unlike the majority of Infocom games, mapping is not necessary for Nord and Bert. Getting from location to location is usually accomplished by typing in the name of your destination. The only directions you use are up, down, in, and out, and these connect areas that are no larger than three rooms.

One point is awarded for each successful action. These are highlighted with quotation marks.

Dessert Aisle

"CHOCOLATE MOUSSE." X NUMBERS. "PIE." MISC.

Musselaneous

"TAX." "MUSCLES." "SALE." GET ALL. MEETS.

Meets

X GIRL. READ RIBBON. "BRAT WURST." "MINTS." "STAKE." GET ALL. MANICOTTI.

Aisle of Manicotti

"GIVE MINT." "KILL MAN WITH STAKE." BRITISH.

British Aisle

READ SIGN. "PUDDING." "AUNTS." X AUNTS. "GIRL." WRITE.

I'll Write

"STATIONERY." "BEAR CLAWS." "FLOWER." SMELL FLOWER. "CENT." GET CENT. "QUARTS." MOVE QUARTS. X DOOR. "LOX." GET LOX. X DOOR. "JAM." OPEN DOOR. CELLAR.

Cellar

"SELLER." BUY LOX. "PUT LOX ON SALE." BUY LOX.

You have completed the story and earn the rank of Super Saver.

IN. X CONTRAPTION. GET CONTRAPTION. "PULL TAIL." OUT. OUT. "WEAR SLEEVES." "JACK FROST." REMOVE JACKET. "TURN CRANK." (2 pts.). CLOSE BOX. IN. "TURN ON SWITCH." X MERMAID. "PULL METAL." "CUT LINE WITH KNIFE." CLOSE KNIFE. "TURN FAUCET." (2 pts.). X JACUZZI. "PULL PLUG."

You have earned the rank of Jackster.

Road

"TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS." GET STONE. BARN.

Barn

"DON'T CRY OVER SPILT MILK." U. GET HAMMER. "PUT NOSE TO GRINDSTONE." D. "HIT BROADSIDE OF BARN." STABLE.

Stable

X HORSE. "LOOK GIFT HORSE IN MOUTH." X TROUGH. GET OATS. "LEAD HORSE TO WATER." "MAKE HIM DRINK." FIELD.

Field

"FIND NEEDLE IN HAYSTACK." "MAKE MOUNTAIN OUT OF MOLEHILL." "KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE." "SOW WILD OATS." BARNYARD.

Barnyard

"TURN SWORDS INTO PLOWSHARES." GET ALL. "MAKE PURSE OUT OF SOW'S EAR." OPEN PURSE. ROAD.

Road

"PUT THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE." GET IN CART. MARKET.

Market

X PEPPERS. "PICK A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS." "UPSET THE APPLECART." "PAY THE PIPER." GET BAG. GET IN CART. ROAD. GET OUT OF CART. BARN. "LET CAT OUT OF BAG." STABLE. "PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY."

Congratulations on earning the title of Sodbuster.

First Floor

"TAKE UMBRAGE WITH WAITRESS." X TABLE. "TURN TABLE ON WAITRESS." X PIE. "EAT HUMBLE PIE." GET SHORT SHRIFT. "GIVE SHORT SHRIFT." X WAITRESS. GET UP. "PULL WOOL OVER EYES." "SWALLOW PRIDE." "GET DANDER UP." "KNOCK CHIP OFF SHOULDER." SHAKE SALT. OPEN COOKIE. "TAKE ADVICE WITH GRAIN OF SALT." X BIRD. EAT CROW. "GET DOWN TO NITTY-GRITTY." GET NAPKIN. "WAVE WHITE FLAG." X SIGN. GET SIGN. "GIVE WAITRESS HER COMUPPANCE." X ROAST. "TURN THE OTHER CHEEK." "HIT THE CEILING." I. "VENT SPLEEN." "GIVE JAUNDICED EYE." "GIVE EVIL EYE." GET AXE. UP.

Second Floor

GET RAKE. "RAKE WAITRESS OVER COALS." X TREE. GET BRANCH. "OFFER BRANCH." X FOOD. GET DESSERTS. "GIVE DESSERTS." X SIGN. "READ WAITRESS THE RIOT ACT." "CALL WAITRESS ONTO CARPET." D. IN.

Kitchen

"WIPE BLOOD." X CARD. X CAN. "MAKE THE COOK A LAUGHING STOCK." "COOK HIS GOOSE." "GET HIS GOAT." "WAVE CAPE AT COOK." "JUMP FROM FRYING PAN INTO FIRE." "LEAVE THE COOK TO HIS OWN DEVICES." GET HATCHET. "GRIND AXE." "GORE THE OX."

You earn the rank of Satisfied Customer.

WHO'S THERE. "BOB WHO." SHAKE HANDS. KITCHEN. GET ALL. LIVING ROOM. WEAR GLOVES. GET CORD. "TOUCH BOB WITH CORD." "GIVE BOB A LOBOTOMY." X SPONGE. "X BOB." GET SHADE. "WEAR SHADE." X BOB. I. LIGHT MATCH. "PUT MATCH IN HOLE." BLOW IN BOTTLE. "THE BACKSTROKE." X CHAIR. "PUT BOTTLE UNDER CUSHION." WHO'S THERE. "GORILLA WHO." WAIT. G. G. WHO'S THERE. "DWAYNE WHO."

You earn the rank of King of Comedy.

DOLDRUMS. GET CLOCK. PHARMACY. GET BOX. OPEN CABINET. X PILLS. GET BOTTLE. X CLOCK. PUT CLOCK IN BOX. "TURN KEY." CLOSE BOX. "KREMLIN." DROP ALL EXCEPT BOTTLE. INTERIOR DECORATED. PUT BOTTLE ON MANTEL. "YES." "THE CHAIR." GET CHAIR. KREMLIN. DROP CHAIR. OPEN BOX. GET CLOCK. "STAND ON CHAIR." "UNLOCK SAFE WITH KEY." OPEN SAFE. GET REVOLUTION. GET OFF CHAIR. ATTIC. X REVOLUTION. "REVOLVE ATTIC."

You earn the rank of Honored Guest.

Clearing

"HEAD LOUSE." "PRETTY GIRL." DINE ON THE SHORE. "CAN OF PEAS." SWIM. "TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES." GET KEY. GET CAN. X ROCKS. "FEED ROCKS." "RED FOX." "HAIR RAISING EXPERIENCE." "DEAR OLD QUEEN." "LOVING SHEPHERD." "READ BETWEEN THE LINES." FOLLOW SHEPHERD.

Old Factory

X BOOK. "RIDDLE WHILE FOAM BURNS." "PULL RABBIT FROM HAT." (2 pts.). GET HAT. WEAR HAT. STOCK ROOM.

Stock Room

"MAKE SMALL TALK WITH ELF." "OLD SELF." "CLEAN GIANT." "BEAN STALK." X HORSE. "SQUARE MEAL." "CRUSHING BLOW." DROP ALL. UP.

On Cloud 673

"BED SHEETS." REMOVE HAT. GIVE HAT TO GIANT. "LEAD HOUSE." TIE SHEETS TOGETHER. CLIMB DOWN SHEETS. "SHOW YOU TO A SEAT." GET BLOW. "HIT GIANT WITH CRUSHING BLOW." GET ALL. STOCK ROOM. FACTORY. "WELL OILED BICYCLE". RIDE BIKE TO CLEARING.

Clearing

GET OFF BIKE. PRETTY GIRL. "GIVE SQUARE MEAL TO GIRL." GRITTY PEARL. GET PEARL. "UNLOCK DOOR WITH KEY."

You earn the rank of Kinkering Kong.

If you haven't beaten the other games in the same session as when you play "Meet the Mayor," you will be asked for your ranks from them.

IN. GET BEER. X BEER. X DOCUMENT. "TAKE BEER UNDER FALSE PRETENSES." UP. X DUCK. "LAME DUCK." "CLOSE DOOR." LOOK IN CLOSET. X COMB. "SEARCH CLOSET WITH FINE TOOTH COMB." GET SKELETON. "GIVE SKELETON THE DEEP SIX." GET LAUNDRY. GET DISGUISE. D. OUT. "WASH DIRTY LAUNDRY." X BUSH. "BEAT AROUND BUSH." X TICKET. "PUT BLESSING IN DISGUISE." GET LAUREL BRANCH. X PAPER. GET HORN. "POSSESSION IS NINE TENTHS OF THE LAW." IN. UP. "GIVE BLESSING." "BLOW YOUR OWN HORN." "THROW OUT BABY WITH THE BATHWATER." D. I. X DECREE. "GIVE DECREE." "REST ON LAURELS."